Love. Something taken for granted in our modern society. Something that people seem to believe is owed to them continuously, as it has dominated our lives for as long as we care to remember. Perhaps it is a social construct, a concept made up by society to fit society, or perhaps it is the quintessential thing to look for and desire. It is an idea that is so widely accepted that it seems impossible to neglect, to try and even avoid it immersing itself within our lives. So today we'll consider this phenomenon, and hopefully find some clarity in its existence. 

The beginning of "love" is arguably subjective, although generally speaking many experts regard it as coming into place as its own, self-decided concept around the 12th century. Previously love was simply an accepted outcome of marriage, as the ceremony only came after the father-of-the-bride agreed that there would be a positive and beneficial match. A result of this was that people rarely fell "in-love" with their arranged partner, but feelings of contentment would emerge after the wedding, as it was compulsory to keep up the façade of a marriage. The change began to start with the idea of 'courtly love', something that has been credited supposedly to French poets. This idea of 'l'amour courtois' was revolutionary, as it separated the idea of loving someone from the sanctity of marriage, therefore defying typical societal conventions and allowing true "relationships" to form. Despite initial outrage and disdain from particular authorities such as the church, this idea of romantic love slowly began to embed itself without society, with it now being the leading factor of modern relationships. Naturally the change was not instantaneous, with arranged marriages and relationships for purely beneficially reasons still occurring greatly in society for a long while after, these early examples are largely the ones credited with being the start of real, romantic love.

While that is supposedly the historic reflection, an alternate approach is to consider what love actually is and how it begins. Simply, love tends to come from affection and loyalty, with people generally having desires for those who showed them the most liking. Naturally this is not always the case, particularly in a more modern society, with external factors greatly affecting the basis of falling in love, but if we consider how the feeling came around, this is largely where it developed. Other animals show care in various ways, generally in their mating processes and protections of one another, whereas when the original primates began to develop minds of their own, communication came emotionally, with bonds forming into communities and then what we would now describe as families. This evolution is largely viewed as what allowed humans to slowly dominate the planet, as their affections allowed deeper bonds and groups to form and support each other. And while our distance primate predecessors likely did not show their love for one another in the way we do today - flowers and chocolates were not particularly popular around seven million years ago - their idea of "mates" and life partners is something that became an integral part of society and is still today.

Throughout history many people have tried to tackle the idea of love through means of art, philosophy, science and now in modern media, and while we all know what it is on its most basic level, it is still a phenomenon that perplexes many people. Here we have already mentioned romantic love and its path into society seemingly being a positive addition to the world, but not all thinkers have shared the same views. Plato once said that the highest form of love is not in fact romantic love, but is instead between close friends or family members. This was justified by the idea that "sex often makes us do ridiculous things that we regret", and that therefore platonic love (or non-sexual love) is the best way to experience it. This was particularly approved of during the time of Plato's philosophy, as most of the ancient world found the idea of pure romantic love horrifying, even going as far as to say that kind of love was an illness, as it caused feelings that often led to consequences that went against societal norms.

Media coverage, literature and film have all worked to shape an idea of love and what it should be, with the leading plot point to most dramas and fictional works focussing on a romantic relationship. Not only have tv shows and movies often been known to glamourise many aspects of society, but the social media image of ideal and perfect relationships has proved to be damaging to many relationships, with a study showing that 45% of internet users aged 18-29 in serious relationships say that the internet has had an impact on their relationship. While this may not be a direct reflection on love itself, the idea that people are going into relationships with fantasy expectations implies that people are expecting to find the perfect love, but are soon let down by the reality of what love actually is.

The pure joy of watching a romantic movie and seeing that moment where the lead character finally gets together with their childhood best friend who they have been in love with for years is always a lovely watch, but the truth is that love is not always that one big moment. It is not the climactic film kiss in the rain, nor is it perfect and flawless, but it is something that has become something many people chase. 

The ultimate conclusion is that that is normal (or whatever normal actually means!) and amazing if you find someone you love, but it is also important to understand that love is more than just finding a "soulmate", love comes in all forms and shapes and sizes and can come at any time. Particularly during the troubling, unprecedented times of this global pandemic, telling the people around you that you love them is so important to show that you care. 

Love is not a movie, nor is it a terrible illness that will make you lose your mind, nor is it a consequence of societal marriage - love is whatever you want it to be, it is simply another phenomenon.